No Givebacks

Most days I go through life and everything reminds me of a song. In fact, there isn't anything I can't relate to a song I know or have heard. Tonight, as I reflect on the day with the boys, I have a song in my head again. It goes like this..."What a day this has been, what a strange mood I'm in, well, it's,almost like being in love." I know that song was written about romantic love and not parental but when I hold the boys and they laugh and smile with me that's what I think about, how much I love them. I loved them before I met them but had no idea how strong a feeling it would be when I was with them.

I would classify last night as a below average night in terms of sleeping and how the boys fared throughout the night. Julie and I both knew we were in trouble when David woke up and wanted some comfort from us at 10:30. Sure enough, in 2 hour increments one of them needed us. It's funny too how we both know now which boy isc rying without going to look. Little Thomas boy ended up on some blankets in the living room because his cough would wake him up and his brother. All their shenanigans ended about 5:30 when we got up with them. They weren't hungry though and they're not most mornings because we feed them what they want in the middle of the night.They're so used to having a bottle in bed as that's what the nannies at the orphanage would do for them. They hold it themselves and actually it took a couple of days for them to let us hold it to feed them.

It was to be an early morning anyway because we needed to be ready to go to the American Embassy at 8 am. Of course we were ready,but the taxi drivers were on Ethiopian time and we left here at about 9. Unlike our other jaunts around town this week, it was a pleasant surprise that the embassy wasn't that far away, about 15 minutes is all. There were 10 families and 13 children to be adopted today and we used every inch of that van's space. We all had this nervous excitement about us this morning. We all knew everything would probably go smoothly but in the back of our minds, mine included,there was a small amount of fear that something could go wrong. What,we don't know, but it was there and it remained unspoken. As we pulled up to the embassy, I found it interesting that unless someone told you, you wouldn't exactly know what building it was. I expected some mighty fortress with American flags all over the place but instead found dozens of cement barriers and a plain group of buildings. The embassy occupies quite a bit of acreage but is not the"mansion on the hill" that I expected. Near our guest house is the British embassy and that place is a sight to see; huge marble walls, large buildings ornately decorated on the outside, large letters on the walls indicating it's the British embassy, and an impressive gated and very well-guarded entrance. We go through security and are reminded that all electronic devices are banned at the embassy. No cameras, cell phones, ipods and such are allowed. Some in our group forgot these rules and had to check their goods at the door. They quickly moved us into the embassy and into the waiting area. It was a boring, bland room with chairs lined up very close together. The room was perhaps half-full with parents and children already waiting their turn from other agencies. Now, we had been told this could be a long wait. It all depended how fast the workers upstairs wanted to get through things. There was a intercom system that announced your turn but between the Amharic language being spoken, the accents of some who were working, and the terrible speaker, the words coming from the speaker were unrecognizable. We had two assistants from the agency there to help so I wasn't worried about missing our turn. The boys were happy in their front pack carriers and were in good spirits for most of the wait.

About an hour into the waiting, at 11 am or so, they called our name. Some in our group had already gone and we gave them all a cheer as they came down the stairs with their official paperwork in their hands and smiles on their faces. They told us it was a piece of cake and the questions weren't difficult. We, (and in this case, Julie) had to put together a large packet of paperwork for the embassy which we had given them two days prior. It included tax forms from the last 3 years and respective W-2's, employment letters. doctor's letters, and all that kind of stuff. We went up to the window and spoke through glass to this stern-faced American woman on the other side. We swore an oath to tell the truth and she asked us a few quick questions: Prior to the court date in December, had you met your boys before? Do you have any reason to believe their has been fraud or malfeasance during this adoption process? Do you plan to meet the birth mother? And then what I feel was the funniest question of all and where today's blog title comes from, "you do know this is final right, there are no givebacks?" The once stern-faced seriously lady behind the glass laughed and smiled, and I even chuckled but was taken aback by her once lacking sense of humor. And so, that was it, she stamped some papers, handed them to us, and it was a done deal. We are forever and offically David Asaye Driver and Thomas Amare Driver's parents. No givebacks!! We came down the stairs and got a cheer and congratulations from those in the group and it was probably another 45 minutes before we left. Remember in yesterday's blog, I wanted to be home by noon? I didn't quite make it today but it was 12:15 when we walked in the door.

The rest of the day included a nap for the whole Driver family, but not at the same time of course. Julie took a nap first and got little David to sleep too. I went downstairs and hung out with some other families, ate lunch, and took care of Thomas. He wasn't sleepy at all at that point. He's such a social little guy. He always wants to look around and see what's going on and is so aware of who's in and out of the room. David on the other had is happy-go-lucky and pays attention mostly to whoever pays most attention to him. They both like to be held up to the mirror and see themselves and their Daddy.I came upstairs a bit later with Thomas sleeping on my shoulder and laid him down and then I caught a 45 minute snooze myself. It was so refreshing to not have anywhere to go the rest of the day. Julie went with another mom to the grocery store and that left me on my own with both boys. There were a few of us dads around so I managed, with some help from them, and from Elisabeth, the owner of the guest house. Shejust loves our boys and wants to hold them all the time. We don't mind at all because it's a breather for us to not have the boys in our arms 24/7. We had a nice afternoon just hanging out with all the families here and then we ate a traditional Ethiopian dinner. It was so good. I'll write about Ethiopian food another time but it's so delicious. Everyone should try it.

Tomorrow (Thursday) we are headed back to the orphanage to meet the boys' first mom. That's the term we use now. We were saying just,their mom, but one of the other adopting mothers corrected us and said no, she's their first mom. Julie is their mom now. I'm nervous to meet her, as is Julie. We don't know much about her except that she's very poor, and very young, maybe 18 or so. We have a list of questions we want to ask and we want to take as much video as we can,with her blessing of course. We've heard great stories of meeting the birth parents and we've also hear not so great stories. I really don't know what to expect. We are taking the boys with us but aren't sure if she will want to see them. We would really like to get a picture with her and the boys to one day show them. We also would like her to record a message to them if she's willing. I'll writeabout the meeting tomorrow and post it as soon as I can. 2 days left here and some change...we leave Saturday night about 11:30pm Addis time and get to Grand Rapids about 2:30 on Sunday afternoon.I'm enjoying my time here so very much but also am anxious to get home and introduce my sons to everybody. Again, your prayers are felt here and Julie and I feel so blessed to them. Please keep sending emails just to say hi. A special hello to all the band students that are reading this today. Be nice to Mr. Dixon and have fun at Winter Carnival.